Christmas Eve 2013 – turning a new page? Revelations about yourself as an individual? Or just….

…Christmas Eve?  Since I had moved to Mexico, there were a number of firsts I never even realized were happening to me, and seeing myself three years into Mexico, I see a totally different person.  I am sitting here, Christmas Eve, my first ever time without family (actually I think I did this my first year here  🙂  ) so lets say second time without being surrounded by family, and a sort of famous question always comes at you, “What are you doing for Christmas?!”  and yes, in the states I was always feeling like I would be ostracized if I had an answer other than I am spending with my family….yet…

Since coming to Mexico, I have changed so much!  Deb posted this article,  and I have to say, I agree.  I used to have these insecurities about taking a risk, leaving dramatically, seeing the world as the WORLD instead of through an article on the web, and losing so much value placed on material possessions.  On top of all that, I find myself so much more independent and wanting to see things, experience things, and interact with experiences on my own, to ultimately learn more about myself, and I have found in the process, I have become a calmer, more contemplative person as I have gone through such an amazing experience as being overseas!

Overseas is a transformation of the whole person…had I known so much would be seen in a different light, my gosh, what would I have been like if I would have done this years ago?  I am amazed at how the city speaks to you when the noise of 117.41 million people, the 7th largest city in the world now, halts, and you see the city in a totally different light!  What I did not realize was all the things you realize about yourself if you allow the time for the city to speak back to you.

The independence I have gained truly has made me more excited to see what I am capable of.  There is always this stigma or stereotype that being alone on the holidays is bad.  Ugly.  Or abnormal.  Heck, when I was in the states the stereotypes of Mexico was that people were kidnapped everywhere, drugs abounded, and it was a typical scene out of a Clint Eastwood movie gone bad.  Wow.  I realized that most cities in the states are way worse than here, AFTER I saw what Mexico had to offer.

Somewhere in the three years, I stumbled across my confident self I had lost years ago in countless relationships I thought I needed to be me.  As years go by, I realize, I need these things…

Family is every important and needed and I am still able to maintain contact, just in different ways, friends, and challenges.  Sometimes they come in the form of friends, but more and more, I see the opportunities I relish being discoveries I make on my own, and that coincides with me having made the break for teaching overseas.  Coincidence?  Hmmmmm…

On a night that is quiet, peaceful, and full of promise, I have to say this Christmas Eve is one of the best in the form of how difference things can be, and yet how right they can be.  There is that feeling of nostalgia and magic that Christmas Eve brings, and if you let it in, it will impact you no matter where you are in the world!

I see the opportunities at our feet, if taken advantage of, will leave us never, ever with a feeling of emptiness and/or loneliness.  If those opportunities are not take advantage of, then, something vacant remains.  I have been blessed with family and friends that never leave a hole in my heart, holiday, or life, and what more could you ask for?

Happy Holidays EVERYONE and enjoy what is a complete celebration of ow lucky we are to have opportunities waiting for the taking.  I think the 2014 year will be full of many surprises – enjoy!

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About Harry Brake

Employee of ASF in Mexico City, Librarian, Media crazy! :)
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