The post title might throw you off, but don’t let it.  I realized from the very beginning, as Christmas approached, there are so many aspects of Christmas this year that brought back the feeling of the way I felt as a little kid.  This is why.

As I prepare for Christmas officially, (official in my book was putting on the first CD and movie and setting the pewter Christmas tree I have in Mexico, covered with items from around thw world thanks to friends) – I felt it inside.

This year, I felt this strange mix of dread say about the beginning of December.  I have truly no idea where this came from, but the dread was emananting from being at a point in my life where I had pushed myself forward, into some new and unusual situations, and found myself on the other end for the first time with no definite direction for the future, nothing solid anyway.  That never happened to me, I always had a definite plan.  Yet, here was was free falling – I kind of liked it but some part of me still did not know how to handle it exactly at moments.

Holidays finally came, and I knew some basic things.  The friends, family, and situations I had built up to this moment were pretty darn great, othwrwise I would have had half the friends I made.  Also, I realized the excitement of seeing friends in the states, the excitement of getting a well deserved rest from the pace I put myself on to acheive and get many tasks done, all of it, a blessing.

As I sit here in the states now getting ready to join family for a day of Christmas, I miss my dogs desperately, I realize I love the country of Mexico and the reasons it has family and celebrations at the core of its culture, and I love the states and appreciate them even more with the contrast between the two countries.

All along, I have met so many new people just entering the states back for the holidays this year, I have met so many new people and close friends in Mexico City that have helped me develop a bigger picture of myself in this world, and I have learned to appreciate the fact that the best things that cause the Christmas spirit? – They can’t be seen, bought, or held all the time, they remain inside of you.

I guess you can imagine it as a rebirth of what Christmas should be, the more retailers push what they see Chrsitmas as, the more individuals can push back and hold close what the true spirit if Christmas is.  Is truly is all around us every day, and this spirit allows us to find ourselves in the mix of parphanalia that really has nothing to do with Christmas.  In that search you , (at least myself) have been able to find a deeper, truer meaning of Christmas.

I do not agree with the craziness of politics, world tragedies, gun problems, crime within the very institutions we put our trust in, and so much more and yet, it is up to each of us to push the hope and understanding of how we can better those very aspects for the people we care about around us.  I have been able to receive that hope thanks to the very students, friends, and family I try to model that for.  Modeling that initiative of finding the truer meaning of ourselves and a deeper meaning of the spirit of Christmas, thanks to those we surround ourselves with.

Just when we think you have the future, the present and yes, even the past, figured out, there is a new facet that presents itself you didn’t see coming.  I never, in my wildest dreams, saw Mexico as a possibility.  It changed my life.  Just as the very people involved in that possiblitiy along the way changed my life.  The colleagues, students, and indviduals that enabled that, supported that event, and supported that possiblity helped make that change.

Each of us have a single moment where there are alot of “invisible” individuals that helped make the change.  They continue to become clearer as the realizations become clearer, about yourself, the world around you, and who is around you to bring you back up when you are down.  When you get back up, you usually are better than before, thanks to these experiences.

In more ways you realize at the moment.  I am fortunate enough to count the number of friends on Facebook, the number of hits I have on my blog, and the number of emails I receive and be thankful for each one, every single one equals an amazing contribution to an experience I am grateful for today.  There is alot more I could want, or ask for, but never truly be happy for, and those very things, maybe visible in hits, posts, and friends, provide ten thousand more reasons to be thankful that can’t be seen, and while maybe invisible to the masses, carry me through each day with a stonger step than the day before.

Wherever you are, please have a VERY Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and take in every single moment in a way that will remain with you as you move forward i your life!   Thank you everyone for being patient, kind, and generous every step of the way through my single adventure!