I just read this and wanted to add this into my post, it makes so much sense. I have another blog post that will be forthcoming as well 🙂
I have also seen that now a days, there seem to be many “envious” people out there, which I guess the common term today is “haters”. I learned a long time ago that envy and jealousy are rooted from insecurities that that individual may have and some of these insecurities can sometimes be very deep seeded from adolescence or even childhood. As a result, some of these people grow up and they tend to “hate” those around them who have worked hard to become happy with themselves. I recently had to walk away from a “friend” whom I knew for almost 18 years. Met him in 1995 and lost touch with him after he graduated in 1998. Saw him for one semester in 2000 and then lost touch and in 2006, found a number for a relative of his and thought I would try and track him down. Got in touch with him in 2006 when he was out in the southwest on a job.
As long as I have known this person, even back to 1995, he would always try to pick faults and flaws with people that would befriend him in college at the time and it was only recently that I learned that this “ex friend” may suffer from “Superiority Complex”, which is a real psychological disorder. These people often make themselves feel superior around their friends but trying to put them down constantly and pick flaws and always emphasizing that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Eventually, their friends around them may start to believe the things that this person says and it starts to get them down about their own self confidence.
It happened to me with this “ex friend” and for 2 years I endured it, not knowing that this was a real disorder at the time. I did everything to help this “friend”…and even established boundaries, but those boundaries would be broken down repeatedly over and over again. So, recently, I “called out” this “friend” on some of the flaws of mines that he would pick on (such as me still being single in my late 30s and currently not having a girlfriend) and when I “challenged him” and told him that friends help build one another instead of putting them down and using the excuse that they are being honest with them….he then got very angry and suddenly cut off his friendship with me for good…just like that.
I was initially quite “angry” at this “ex friend” for treating me the way he did the past two years, BUT after cooling down and taking the time to think about it, I realize now that people with this disorder can not see that how they are behaving is not acceptable behavior when it comes to making and keeping friends. Not surprisingly, he had ZERO friends. People tried to befriend him when we were young, but he would pick flaws with them and they would stop hanging out with him.
I actually NOW feel very sorry for this “ex friend” in that he was always quite “anti social” when I first met him in college when I was in my very early 20s, and he never went out to parties or clubs and was always a bit of a “loner” and always seemed to complain that he disliked the city atmosphere, as he was from a very rural part of the state. He disliked his college years quite alot and I feel sad for him, because college is often where you meet some of the best friends in life and I, like many others, have been fortunate to make some great friends who are like family to me and we all still let our hair down and party it up like old times, despite the life event changes in our lives after college and despite where we may geographically be located.
It was for the best, as now, my life has suddenly gotten MUCH better these past few days and I do feel happier with myself without this “friend” in my life anymore.
Just wanted to share, but this poster is sort of how I felt from this “ex friend’s” constantly picking at me.