Whew. Here goes…I know I am a stranger to my own blog as of late, yet, you will see. Life is amazing and trying to express the ideas within a balloon of emotions that just have enough to float, move, and then get out, it seems impossible. Yet, if you let the balloon go, the air – gone and gone with it the memories of what about that day, week, or event held you in awe for so long.
So here I am, breaking tradition and in the middle of trying to reach 50 000 words for Nano in November, HAVE to make you part of my Nano chapter because this is so important. Think of it like a concert, you reader, are a part of my recollection novel for Nano, and justly so, you have been with me on this adventure for so long a part of you SHOULD be a part of my Novel Nano, because, after all, thanks to you, I have made it this far. Coming home at 2:30 AM after being lucky enough to make it to the premiere of Catching Fire, (With two awesome ladies I might mention!)
and this might have been the first time I ever went to a movie starting at 11:45, yet Magy our ASF hero of the Upper School inspired me and I owe her something BIG for giving me the premiere tickets to see this second of three – and here’s why…
I did date someone at one time that was so cynical of all the things I saw, the way I made connections to movies to real life. “It is ONLY a movie, there is no basis for belief.” Behind that constant tearing down of the way I liked to see things, I see even more, she was never wrong – her doubt and cynicism came from a deeper place and her constant put downs were a huge, blaring sign that said,
“Warning …..warning…shallowness and lack of creativity ahead…” and yes, sometimes we learn from our mistakes and sometimes we don’t. Yet – check this analogy out – Katniss climbing against the pressure of an authority that does not like change, refuses to see the possibility of a new future, is the inner person inside each of us that often, holds us back and bows to those around us that can’t see beyond the “what has always been done and works.”
I am not sure if it is a combo of my father’s genes, and a mix of my steadfast approach on my mother’s side, yet I literally LASH OUT in many ways when I am backed into a corner, not given options, and am made to think the traditional way is the only way, or the best way to approach the way you live your life. I detest this philosophy of life. DETEST. Hence, Katniss feels forced with Peeta at the helm, and is what she is doing living? No, it is not and even her sister knows this. Each of us is allowed to follow the rules that life sets in front of us, and yet, we each have the option to open a door that has never been opened, and just be totally unpredictable, and we have the opportunity to learn from it, and bring others with us. Allies earned in the Hunger Games were pushing Katniss to a rebellion she did not even realize was occurring all around her. Each of us has a heart of a lion and can remake and change the face of how others and the world see events occur, if we just have the courage and boldness to do so. This is what I see.
I came from a family on one side that believed in following the traditional approaches to doing everything, polite as a virtue, nice, neat packages of obedience to achieve an end. On the other side of my family, rules existed yes, yet, if in your gut it felt wrong, you go against it, be it right or wrong, you lead with your emotions and follow up with cleaning up the things that went wrong due to not following rules, for, your inner direction and sense of what to do that that moment was what matters most. Combine both of these, and you do indeed have an unpredictable, and sometimes moody result, yet, that is me. Using both to change the way people can feel boxed in and confined, I revel in. I want to show everyone, the world can be totally different, sure, like a movie, but living a movie is better that trying to compare it all the time. The comparison serves to move others into motion. I see faces pass like a slideshow that make up my youth, my family, my amazing family of athletes, scholars, students that I came to adore and love I left in Delaware, an amazing family of amazing stars in Mexico, all I want to do is push, motivate, and challenge them so at the end of a year, everyone knows the struggles they faced and that they overcame them and created something as a result.
I have literally come to love the spirit these young people find in themselves, and they use to pick themselves up and create something even I could not envision. I need them as much as they say they need me, yet, I am no dummy. (Well I am mostly). But I know and see what they do not, they are so much stronger, creative, and capable of so much and they just do not realize it. If I can get them to a point that they realize this, that they do not need me, they always had the ability to be so much more than others imagined them to be, I feel, I have survived the reapaing that others have placed on my and shown, through so many young amazing heroes, life is what you make it and we are trying to make it something most could not have imagined. All these thoughts raced through my mind in front of the Catching Fire film while taking the amazing turns of events I had read about months ago and I just wondered, I am so lucky to be able to think of these things yet, have real amazing people in my life that I can look to and be so proud of, and that have stuck behind me pushing me forward to be so much more than I imagined. I think before I even entered the theatre this evening, this conversation sparked so much of what would come after viewing Catching Fire:
(Anonymous student for her privacy!)
–“I know the goal of life is to be happy and successful but I don’t know what successful means to me …
5:43pm Harry Robert Brake – “Well I know where to start, 1)Eat so many Oreos you are burping like a banshee 2)Do 20 Hail Harry’s each morning 3)Swear to the God of Repentino .
5:43pm –“So I’m undergoing an identity crisis ”
5:43pm Harry Robert Brake “I will tell you what it is in honesty for you…” 1) Discovering the amazing things the world has, I was always told you need to stay with a job more than 2-3 years to appreciate the idea of working…
Harry Robert Brake I never did and look at the amazing experiences I have had, people I have met, and how they have all connected together later when unexpected? Had I listened to the old timers advice, I would have never experienced the saltwater lapping at my feet on the Atlantic Ocean, made so many advances in grant and project creation that would impact such a project as what Repentino. held waiting for us there IS a thing as Fate I have found out and despite the times I have rubbed it off as coincidence it is NOT coincidence I had the right people, in the right place, to see and do amazing things and accomplish dreams, literally DREAMS – we have accomplished things many people DREAM about you and I…
5:45pm true that
5:48pm that is very very true I miss you and I love you Mr.Brake + really
5:49pm Harry Robert Brake but most people have to live that to understand that, no? I of course love ya too xxxxx, absolutely the smile and initiative you never fail to let be buried – it is an inspiration that makes me miss you all the time, I believe this every day –
5:50pm Harry Robert Brake “I know it’s a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can’t live without. I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy, and who’ll love you the same way back. How do you you find ’em? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Because the truth is, honey, there’s no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived. ”
5:50pm I can’t wait to go back and see you
5:50pm Harry Robert Brake Love that and love is in so many places people do not even realize, THAT is true power and energy no matter where we go, where we travel, and how far we go and think we will escape our worries and fears – we carry those with us everywhere and we alone are the ones that have the chance to change everything, that is an amazing strength within us many do not even realize, no? I always know we will see each other sometime, and of course I miss you, but this part of your life is essential for what you will go on to be and apply in the people and events that will occur in your future….
5:53pm Harry Robert Brake Again, sometimes there is one answer, other time so many, it is important just to experience as many as you can to expand the emotions in your heart to spread across several years in the future, the people that have that ability to see in the future and all around them, rather than just one day from now, will have an amazing life …
5:53pm Harry Robert Brake … and allow us to do things that make others ask, “How do you do all that?” – Vision – all about vision and feeling those visions Your whole family has that talent, no matter what they go on to do, and that is magical and then there IS the 20 Hail Harry’s every morn LOL
5:54pm I will start on that morning routing tomorrow And your mouth is full of truths
5:55pm Harry Robert Brake Okay….well the mouth is just an extension of the emotions that move each of us thanks to those like you around us, and on and on the extensions gooooooo
5:56pm My mind has never been so active in thinking what my values are, my priorities, my fears, my reasons, my goals, my soft spots and the people I really care about and I can only but agree with what you’re telling me
5:56pm Harry Robert Brake Take care of you! I miss you so much and hold you so close to everyone here in the new Repentino. you are always here among them, and it shows around them in all we do! and I insist on the period at the end of the word Repentino. they love it….. I mean, how lucky am I to have this conversation with a former student and know, she is on her way and has the ability to change so much around her? (And she does)… Then I think back to Alison, Kate, the Sigai’s, Christina, the Ms Cox-Cannons, the Uhlich’s, the Morris’, the Doakes’, the Percival’s, leading to the Camila’s, the Clau’s, the Alia’s, the new group of indivduals that showed another country is just a nother level to add to your heart, the countless names who never stopped believing in me and allowed me to see the strength in others that they could not see? – I have been passed a gift from my family to be able to use and see the amazing attributes people have inside them that they do not see, it is up to each of us to let them see how truly great they can be – and in return we see how much they let us become stronger through all the trials and conflicts that will arise – So yeah, go ahead, make fun of the fact I see analogies everywhere and it was just a movie, but look around the edges of a forcefield meant to rein you in and follow the norm, and you will see a totally different world that is full of change, not without hurt, but at the end a finish line of individuals to celebrate the fact that you were willing to stand apart for the sake of adding a deeper meaning to the life that involves you and so many others. Here is another analogy – I have learned including you as this part of my Nano chapter that you are writing the story of my life, each of you that believes something is right around that forcefield, and showing you this, my portion of November 23’s Nano involves each of you, making transparent what is possible, no room for excuses, “let’s wait a bit to do that’s”, and especially no room for bowing to an authority that allows no room for you to grow. Katniss did not. In not knowing, she realized she did know more about herself through the motions of others, that is where each of you sit as my family, who have stood beside me, analogy or no. Perfect lead up to my Thanksgiving message for what I am thankful for in 2013, huh? 2408 words to add to my Nano novel and I am not even into the events that have occurred over the last few months that have led us to what has been so amazing! Glad we have time to do so in the future! – Stay tuned and thank you for being amazing!