Cussing, Constipation, and Consternation (and yeah, Candy corn is Fat Free – seriously!)

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Yes, the name will speak for itself.  Every once in awhile, you have these stories that you are SURE are made up, but if you know me, that is my life. Let’s just dive in, shall we?
Ever notice the things you at one time hated or dislike, come back and you crave?  Maybe not EVERYTHING but – some things?  Okay two words – Candy Corn – NONEXISTENT in Mexico?  I am serious, I have looked EVERYWHERE – NADA.  I put a search out and someone replied on Facebook – one Chedraui store in Polanco, the big one by Costco – yes – they did?  Well believe it or not, they DID, I bought 8 large bags and was EXCITED, more so but wasn’t in a hurry as most were just for the candygrams we are doing now for Repentino.  .

I should have been in a hurry.

Forgetting the bags at home on our first day of preparing them, the staff crazily devoured the task at hand and all was ready, except for the sprinkling of candy corn in bags that would finish it off. Tuesday I vowed.

It’s funny, on coming home I just SMELLED something – different – oh reader, did you forget I have three dogs that seem to get into things somehow- some way, even with like Fort Knox in place?  Yes, you know where this is going – let’s just say if we had put a costume on the dogs, the picture would have been PERFECT minus the smell of eaten candy corn and some crumbs on their mouth – UNBELIEVABLE – well not really if you know Kinah, Wriggley, and Amaya – so you know chocolate is bad for dogs, but um, what about candy corn?


Well before thinking of that, I tore off from the house back to Polanco Chedraui, and GUESS WHAT?   They still had candy corn, – yes!  Only, wait.  The bags were the size of like – my hand cut in half – and yes 49 pesos for that size that I could eat in one stinking breath. SERIOUSLY?  I went to the checkout and purchased this measly amount and asked, surely, there are larger bags available – ?  They called on the walkie talkie, checking and wow, I had hope, yes in the back, more, yes, um, NO!!!!!!

I am reeling in my lousy luck on the way out but think surely someone else – Surely Super Rama, Costco, um…no, thinking wasn’t that the reason I ended up at this Chedraui store in Polanco?  Frustrated a bit, I was pounding energy into my Eco Bici down Homero and literally, maybe it was the bouncing, the pressure on the bag, the sheer speed? – but one bump too many and the bottom of the bag – poof and smack! and I look back and my book and a tiny, miniscule bag of candy corn, is in the road – I screech to a halt – look back and to my dismay, oh yeah, a car coming, and you can imagine, I was ready to throw myself at the front of the car for a bag of candy corn that would not even cover my eye – (made by Jelly Belly just for your info) – and a crinkle noise, – NO WAY.  The car just nailed the top part of the bag, not even the part where the candy corn WAS!   SCORE!  I grabbed the bag quickly, and the book stuffed them in the broken no bottom bag – wrapped three times – then in my pocket – (the book by the way is an amazing story called “Strings Attached” – a galley copy, holy cow what a book – ah, that is another story/post) –

I make it in front of another SuperRama in front of the Polanco metro and think, what the heck?  Yeah, nice try, not even close and not even on the Halloween display in the middle of the STORE!

I head back replaying this crazy night in my head, thinking, I could but like 200 bags of candy corn and barley feed one dog with the size of these bags and the three caballeros knows as my canines had a feast that the Thanksgiving Indians and Pilgrims would have die for….before I know it I am at my apartment and just out of sheer self pity I tell my neighbor, a bookseller, this story and he smiles and say, yes, two blocks down…
candy corn the size of small towers – tons of them.  I look at him in disbelief, “Are you SURE?  TWO BLOCKS?” – he laughs, I am just speechless and realize, tomorrow is a better day….

Where does the cussing, constipation, and consternation come into play?  I will let you put the pieces together but let me tell you, it will be a long walk for the dogs this evening…


About Harry Brake

Employee of Woodbridge High School, Library Media Specialist, Media crazy! :)
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