PAVEing a Blog

it is interesting that Jeff Bezos thanked all the Amazon employees and customers that paid for the 10 minute flight into space and also that the overview effect, the fact that people realize the earth is fragile from a view from space, is the best way that changes people minds about how fragile the earth is.I can help anyone realize this fact if anyone wants to see several local environmental areas in our own county that are consumed by plastics, needles, fast food garbage and more. Sigh.

We have a long way to go to show politicians and those in positions of wealth of how they can better benefit the world around them.I do believe in the ability to use millions, (maybe billions) for something in discovering innovations in space travel, especially being able to reuse a craft to do so, BUT also in using such publicity for a further impact on the world’s needs now, in real time, truly combining what such an event does to bring attention to so many and use for a better use – couldn’t Amazon have created a link to this event and all who watched it, if they contributed a positive ideal for a new solution to 1 of 100 dire needs of the earth, Amazon would donate at least 1000.00 to that cause?

Connecting the dots of using publicity and the spotlight, as well as using one’s platform to benefit the world around them as well as themselves (and others) should not be out of the realm of the earth’s atmosphere, be it from a millionaire or someone barely making minimum wage – these are some of the things I think about at 4 AM

Hot, as you know, and having to go back into Food Lion TWICE on forgetting an item, I was contemplating going back in….and fought the urge to say no and did anyway.

On the way out I gladly escaped into my vehicle, started up and planned to exit pronto from the heat pushing in on me.

Right before my eyes a woman in her late 20’s or so, one I saw in the grocery store, simply pushed her cart towards a car, and indeed- it did! It hit the neighboring car, parked in a handicap spot – and I just was stunned.

Passers-by looked incredulously (I always wondered when I would be able to use that word) and she simply remained in her vehicle as if – “Too bad, so sad.” Even though I was halfway out of my parking spot, I was stunned – STUNNED- so I did the most logical thing that seemed to do in a situation full of wrong, I defiantly against the heat pulled BACK into the space, exited, into the stifling humidity, walked over with leaving my car running, walked in front of their vehicle to retrieve her cart now against the car in the handicap spot – and walked it back to the store returning it – then hopped backed into my vehicle.

They remained parked there and from the face she made in the back seat as they pulled out, not pleased. I saw the driver of the car the passenger who had the cart that had bumped into the parked car – she was scowling and not happy so, some sort of interchange, I thought, must have occurred when I was returning my “not my cart.”

This left me with a sense of dismal belief in how people view each other, think of each other, and see each other.

What would you have done?

When I saw her performance – and witnessed the profound and deep-seeded performance, aside from the letter I usually try to slip to seniors when they graduate – that has been a very important part of my educational life as they become graduates – I hope – especially in 2021 that these graduates realize some very important things.

In figuring my educational career – I have been in the educational field for twenty four years – 12 of those years as a Librarian and Media Specialist, 12 as an English Educator, all the while studying Master’s Degrees simply because to be honest, I always search for aspects of education that are morphing, growing etc..

I think in this particular post I am able to identify the core aspects that do not require names –

As an educator, I have seen some pretty harrowing moments, as most educators do – young children from the age of 4 to the age of 18 physically, emotionally, mentally, socially abused, used for money for parents that see their children as such a tool, learned to always keep extra food and a small refrigerator in the back because without fail, there are always a handful, that come to school relying on the breakfast, lunches, and snacks they know they can come to a library and obtain – and when I was an English teacher, definitely my classroom as well. So many educator experience this today and get no credit for this realization.

Seeing students growing up hungry, alone, isolated, abused, neglected, and more, day in day out, along with the stress and disrespect that are thrown to educators even more today, there is no way, no how, anyone could possible realize the role of a librarian, of an educator, of a counselor, even of an administrator unless you are actively doing this on a daily basis – I know some will disagree, and that is okay, but living this experience for over 24 years – and having family members and friends see me drag myself home some night – complaining when I hate complainers, whining when I hate whiners – the depth and reality of how little educational processes have come, and need to come, it sits with you well.

It is important for graduates to have a chance to sit down with their supports that enabled them to see their way to 12th grade to realize – exactly what the above quote points out.

The pandemic was a small slice of what havoc life can truly throw your way. I am grateful, after some personal losses way back when I first started in the educational field, I would 100% throw myself into my students, my field of study, my classrooms, in and out of buildings.

“But when does Harry get some time for Harry?!” – lol, yes, I have been told this many times and yet, only a small handful of individuals know that what keeps me happy, going, etc is having had these rough experiences and times, and some pretty great ones, and finding a niche and a step, for someone else to be able to find, and then find their way.

There is nothing worse than feeling that there is no way out, no new opportunity or experience that is in front of you, that can help express who you are, to yourself and to others. Yet, one of the most rewarding moments of an educator, as well as the most trying, is being beat down in a world that truly feels at times it is against every gain you try to obtain for yourself and for others and getting back up. Yet there is confidence and strength in numbers.

I look back and see I could have spent alot more time building a relationship with someone that would have resulted in a family, children, etc and I cannot say that is not a good thing. I joke around alot and lament when people get married and offer condolences, but deep down, I hope and know (they usually do) I am so extremely happy for them because I have grown up with them and I do expect nothing but the best for them. I will be honest, I truly suck at anything somewhat related to the idea of a relationship, I just simply suck at that whole area – and yet- isn’t the first step admitting? LOL – Yet, I have never once felt bad about this aspect because –

It has been AMAZING – to weigh the number of obstacles, daunting roadblocks, and dead ends that appear, only to realize they are mirage – and having a friend, an educator, a guide- show you with patience, and foresight (which to many see as blindness) just as ,myself, a very old 40ish person – looking back- how to put something aside for others helps you put something aside for yourself.

Classes of 2021- trust me on this, there have been many evenings where I have come home at night, and doing what I do, I work myself until my feet are numb, my back feels as if it will break, I begin to see stars, and I can no longer lift my arms, I throw the wishes, frustrations, and disappointments that others feel around me and experience into tasks, chores, lists, to-do’s on those especially bad days. Sometimes I am a sponge, I absorb much of it privately, and sometimes I even weep at night seeing the breakdown and struggles that many young students should not have to endure.

I am not the only one. You will have to believe me on this one, some of the strongest teachers you know have some of the hardest moments when they are by themselves, having to put on a game face when they want simply offer a hour of just chatting and talking with you because they want you to know, based on their years, if you believe and persevere, not even a pandemic can shake the energy you can bring to everything within your touch, sight and future.

Nothing can prevent you from performing acts of kindness and initiatives that no one asks you for.

Take with you the knowledge and keys of success individuals are willing to give you- this separates the individuals that will wait for something good to come to them- to the individuals that know good will come to them after seeking out how to provide that good to others in the process.

Yes, there are countless cheerleaders that are faculty, close friends, coaches, family that continually tell me “You are amazing!” You are relenetless and an energizer bunny!” “You are the best!: ” I so appreciate such comments but what it comes down to is this, and I have always known and believed this:

Without the struggles, the ability to confide in educators as soothsayers and fortune tellers of other futures, without the belief that you have the power to change a world that is often plagued by selfish, Me Me Me thinking,- with not realizing to have the ability to somehow benefit those around you and include them in on your successes – you truly will feel as if you are always in desolate country. Without you, I have no successes, no highlighted achievements, no truly success stories. Unless you are in the picture. Yes, Y O U.

So don’t doubt yourself or underestimate your ability to ride a funk out that you might find yourself in.

Surround yourself with individuals willing to let you dream every single day on how you can actively do something to improve and perfect, be it yourself, others around you, or the world ten years from now. What matters is your happiness, (and do not wait 40+years to realize this) – and your happiness coupled by bringing others along with you.

You will never regret this decision, and realize how wealthy you will become down the road if you simply trust your instincts to help others; as a result you will be helping and growing yourself, and being patient over these years as they occur.

I have never been so luck as due to having met literally family in the form of students, friends, colleagues, and faculty in this country and other countries. One thing is the same wherever you find yourself, Individuals have a higher threshhold of success if you are in their corner and rolemodel generosity to themselves and others.

There is so much to learn – I am excited more than ever for you – Please Decide to be Happy no matter where you find yourself. You have done that for me ten times over – Keep that faith!

Following our long -awaited Cross Country Banquet covering the past two seasons – a teammate came up to me and told me there were sorry and apologized because they knew they could have done better. That never left me, and it took me a few days, but I formulated a a small portion (it is difficult to put it all in words after a year that often exceeds words) back to this athlete- (Remaining anonymous- and in actuality – this applies to everyone that made up quite an amazing 2020 WHS Cross Country team).

Dear ___________________

Despite not being able to have a Cross Country Banquet, I would have to say it was quite an amazing opportunity see so many talented runners in one room after a year that put each one of us on a rollercoaster. But one thing was left unsaid.

You came up to me and said to me, “Mr. Brake, I am sorry I let you down.”

_________ , you NEVER let me down. Not once. Not ever. You showed up. You showed up when you struggled with your academics, when it was sometimes painful for you to run, when you had an amusment park of roller coasters of your own to conquer. And get this,

You did. You pushed yourself. You said you didn’t push yourself. You said you could have done better.

But you showed up. You showed up knowing you might be able to do better, not sure you were able to do better, but you showed up.

The one single thing I learned, 31 years after high school, yeah, THIRTY ONE. The BEST relationships, the best memories, the BEST learning I have ever done after over 16 years post high SCHOOL, an onslaught of undergraduate and graduate classes, the best moments of my life continue to be with students, athletes, and friends like YOU.

I understand and feel the disappointment you feel when you get a chance to truly realize the season is over and in hindsight, you know what they say about hindsight. (I hope?! 🙂 ) But YOU are not hindsight.

Think about the amazing season we had, and you were a part of it- we had a princess, twins, a pandemic, ladies that were pushed to pace boys, boys trying to pace some of the ladies (true) and cross training/sport athletes, and a TEAM. WE had a TEAM because of all the aforementioned working for themselves AND together, and YOU, were a part of that team.

What made me think of what you said that night over and over after our long-deserved banquet?- approaching people and telling them that they should consider cross country. You know what the first thing they say to me is? “What makes you think I can run?”

I will share with you one of the biggest truths/secrets I uncovered since I jumped into cross country.

Running is a small part of what cross country is, and from the outside, that IS a secret because many think that makes 100% of what cross country is.

Wrong. This is the truth, the heart, the ability to put your good days, your bad days, having an outlet to channel 100 emotions and being able to do it among the outdoors, traveling, being able to control your breathing as your brain races through these emotions and experiences, and being able to do this in different spots over 3.1 miles, and yet still being TOGETHER as a team – despite not seeing each other for parts of the course – that is what makes Cross Country uniqiue.

You could have never run more than 50 feet and be the best cross country team athlete if you bring your heart and willingness to do your best, support others, and willing to set aside your pride, and give a little of yourself to others as well as to yourself. You could be a finisher of 17:00 after 3.1 miles or a finisher of 55.00 after 3.1 and STILL BE THE BEST part of a XC Team.

It is how you carry yourself, what you bring to the TEAM, and the heart you bring to XC; on paper, there is no way to measure THAT – be it time, rate per mile, or personal record.

I hate to compare a sport to the best moments of my life, so I won’t. I look past the sport and see the individuals who bring and bare themselves for the sake of being better, be it 30 seconds better or maintaining a better rhythm of breathing or enduring longer.

This life that challenges us every step, if not this past year, has been a constant foot race to see how you will endure as an individual. After seeing three years of growth and some exceptional athletes come and go, I have had the best moments of my life by seeing the sacrifices individuals make for the sake of a team as a whole. We were lucky enough to have a returning senior athlete gives us a glimpse of what lies in the future.

That warms my heart more than anyone will ever be able to, or ever had. You need to take that and ask yourself, what now?

You can fall into that category of people that say “I can’t” or make excuses before you even give yourself a chance to consider, “Maybe?…”, and in doing so, you only think about yourself and not the others that you could support. That is easy to do when others are not around. However, holding on to how you have helped others through this season when together, and doing so when they are not around, now THAT is an amazing trait…you have the chance to take the times you have and work towards supporting others that might now be in view right now. Will you?

.You never let me down. Ever. You showed up,

You gave of yourself for the sake of others on a daily basis. So, you didn’t do as good as you think you could? That is an amazing learning lesson in itself, the realization – many do not get that far – and you have. So do exactly as I asked – take what you know, and make something even more of it, and simply…

Show up. I am proud of you – never forget that 🙂 That is the best kept secret of XC.